Richard Matheson's Curse

I was going to begin this post with the observation that perhaps it is best that Richard Matheson has departed this dimension for the next. But I find that in fact he lives still, and I'm sure he's grateful for that fact. What must certainly peeve him, though, is the fact that despite three attempts (and three different titles!) the movie biz has failed to craft a worthy film version of his classic sci-fi/horror novel I Am Legend. I admit my memory of the novel being a roaring scary yarn may be at least partly aided by the fact that, as a high school sophomore, I read it in one day, in the midst of a raging fever that kept me home from school for my only sick day between 5th grade and the end of college.

But it is impossible to believe that any of the three film versions could have held a candle to the book, even had I watched them in the grip of a brain-damage-risking fever.

You should read the book, and perhaps might enjoy this page dedicated to it. But I'm sure at least one of you, dear readers, is on the verge of screaming at the computer screen: you are writing a movie blog! To be sure, to be sure. So, to the task at hand:

First attempt, 1964: The Last Man on Earth, starring Vincent Price. Filmed in black and white, for seemingly not much budget, this version is actually relatively faithful to the book. The fractured chronology works well, and there are some rather horrific moments along the way, but in the end the B-film hammy over-acting, some pacing problems in the middle, and a rather disastrously silly climactic action sequence derail initial optimism in the viewer. Still, on the whole, it may have to be judged the most successful adaptation.

Second attempt, 1971: The Omega Man, starring Charlton Heston. Bright beautiful color, some excellent shots of empty Los Angeles, and a much bigger budget again raise hopes that perhaps this, then, will be a worthy film of the terrifying book. Heston is in full scenery-chewing mode, but maybe it will work in this context. After all, he has the scenery to himself for much of the running time. But his vampiric foes have now been transformed into hooded Manson-family-esque cult-members with an aversion to bright light, and oozing sores on their faces. They see the plague as punishment for humanity's embrace of technology, and thus restrict themselves to attacking Neville (Heston) with sticks and stones, fire, and the occasional spear. (Isn't affixing metal to the end of a stick technology?) This makes the action scenes rather unsporting, mostly consisting of Neville machine-gunning robed figures brandishing clubs, or crashing his vehicle through screaming crowds. Crowds of robed figures. Brandishing clubs. And the occasional torch. Add in a seriously dated soundtrack (I know, should I really hold that against the film? It doesn't matter whether I should or not, I do.), some lame hippie-ish overtones, and some beat-you-over-the-head messianic imagery at the end (killed by a spear, blood saving the remainder of humanity, arms spread wide in crucifix pose) and it's another failed attempt. (Go rent Planet of the Apes instead. Now there's a sci-fi movie: "We finally really did it. [screaming] You maniacs! You blew it up. Ah, damn you. God damn you all to hell!" Now that's a scene built for Heston's kind of scenery chewing. Beautiful.)

Third attempt, 2007: I Am Legend, starring Will Smith. Now this is the most perplexing of the bunch. First the good: Will Smith is actually quite excellent in this role. You fully believe he could be this competent and strong, and also fully believe the growing signs of strain on his psyche. And this film starts very strong. Very strong. In fact, on a ten-point scale, I'd give the first hour at least an 8. Suspenseful, mysterious, even moving. I sat in the theatre, hope beginning to swell in my breast. [MILD SPOILER AHEAD.] And then it all goes to hell. And not in the "Wow, this is so scary as it all goes to hell" sense. No, rather in the "Wow, this director just forgot everything he ever learned about his craft and also fell on his head and then had his damaged brain replaced by half the brain of a rabbit" sense. Or something. I mean, once the dog dies it just completely jumps the rails. (Yes, that's right. The dog dies. It's a very moving scene, which is good since it's the last thing that makes a lick of sense in the film.) I'm not going to waste my time, or yours, listing off all the narrative problems from here on in, nor all the horrifically wasted opportunities to mine the rich irony of the haunting finale of the book. No, buy me a beer some time and I'll rant to the bottom of the pint for you. Last 30 minutes of the movie gets a 1 out of 10. Or less. It should be less because of how it squanders the good work of the first hour. Sigh. I'm depressed all over again. Why did I write this post?

Oh yeah, to tell you to read the book. It's great. Maybe someday, in another 10 or 20 years, they'll actually film the thing right.
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Special effects note: 1971 version is hilarious because Heston's stunt double is about a foot shorter than him, and Heston's hair is thin enough that the bushy Heston-color wig on the stunt double makes him look more like Hannibal on The A-Team than Heston. (I'm pretty sure it wasn't actually George Peppard, though.) 2007 version suffers terribly from the current obsession with CGI effects. Using actual physical actors in decent makeup for the vampires/zombies might have raised the last 30 minutes up to 2/10. But probably not. Sigh.